Headaches.

I’ve mentioned this often to those in my life, but I am extremely prone to headaches. I have chronic headaches, and pushing through them can be tough. At this point, they are so engrained in my life that I almost could not picture a week (or recently, even a day) without receiving one.

One might be thinking that I should just avoid what triggers them, and this is definitely true. I actually do my best to do so, but sometimes this can be difficult due to what my triggers are. Screens, vehicles or other moving machines (such as rollercoasters), caffeinated coffee, and scents prompt my headaches.

I believe that I have been experiencing more migraines recently because of the screen time required for work and engaging with friends during a pandemic. I depend on my blue light glasses heavily, and I could honestly have a headache within the hour if I do not wear them. I even wear them when I’m looking at something on my phone for an extended period of time (the smaller the screen, the more likely I am to have a headache), or watching a show or movie on a television screen. I can have severe headaches from watching reality TV shows or vlogs. If I read something on my phone that makes me anxious (a confrontational email or text – not that I receive these a ton, but the couple of times), my head starts pounding and the room spins. At this point, I know that I’ll have a headache for the rest of the day.

I dealt with some unpleasant bouts of airsickness as a child, and even though I can manage it better now when flying, I still avoid inhaling (I solely breathe through my mouth if I can help it, which is why my breath can be ~off~ after exiting the aircraft) and I cannot bring myself to drink the water that the airplanes serve (regardless of the bottle brand). I cannot read in airplanes or cars, and as much as I love rollercoasters and other amusement park rides, I am left with a strong headache at the end of the day. If I smell anything for too long, even if I enjoy the scent, I will have a headache, though I think headaches from scents might be an experience that many people have.

I had a migraine most of last week, and I felt terrible. I felt nauseous, I had to lay down a lot, and I had to lower the volume of the music while driving. With my migraines, I frequently see flashes of light as well. My dad experiences chronic headaches, so I might have them because of genetics. We both just live with them, but when I am really having a hard time, I break down and cry. I am sure that mental health plays a role in these headaches too. This is another case of a condition (or whatever you would like to call it) that isn’t visible by simply looking at someone. I have attended, and led, countless meetings, classes, exercised, and spent time with friends while having mild to severe headaches, but I know that even if I had not done these things and just took a nap, my experiences would still be valid. I do my best to break through this barrier because I want to live my life and keep my word.

I actually wanted to write this post a week ago, but my head was hurting so much that after the work day, I just wanted a break from looking at a screen. I feel better this week and I thought that I would hop on here to reflect. I know that having a headache might not seem as though it is a big deal to some who are reading this, but for me, the migraines that I receive are painful. At the very least, this post can just be a reminder that more exists than what meets the eye and everyone deserves a bit of grace.

link to my blue light glasses (I have the Hardwire Mini in a translucent, light pink color, but it looks as though this color is no longer available. The glasses are cute and extremely effective nonetheless!)