I am back in Boston after about a month long break in Minnesota, and I am ready to rumble. I spent most of my days sleeping until late morning and most of my nights watching television shows or movies during this break. I gave way to rest and relaxation.
For the last several years of my life, I struggled to skip even one day of exercise, but I managed to experience a full week with little physical activity over this time. While I enjoyed the rest, I definitely did not feel like the best version of myself. In addition to the lack of movement, I did not do much in terms of graduate school preparations, career growth, or my creative interests (such as my blog). “Laziness” and lack of productivity provides me with an uncomfortable itch, but I blame the perpetual toxicity of capitalism for this. I gave myself the permission to relax and I am a much better person for it.
I am not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, and those who know me know that I think that birthdays are a much better marker of growth, but I do have changes that I want to make in 2022. My word for 2021 was “intention,” and my word for 2022 is “consistency.” My decisions were a bit impulsive and sporadic last year, and while spontaneity can be good for the soul, I experienced a lot of unease as well. I am sure that not all of my readers are well versed in astrology, but for those who are, I am a Virgo Sun and Aries Rising. This alone can describe the fiery internal conflict within me when deciding between routine and whimsicality.
As much as I enjoyed my rest, I would love to re-establish a consistent exercise and diet routine this year. The pandemic, graduate school, and every other chaotic situation pushed me to fill my voids by indulging my sweet tooth, and I have been consuming too much sugar as a result. I cannot help that I love chocolate, but I can help how often I purchase and consume it.
I found myself growing tired of the same workouts and exercising became more of a chore rather than an escape for me over the past year. I love health and fitness, so I felt discouraged with the lack of motivation and enjoyment that I experienced every time I exercised. In a weird twist of fate, I landed a job at the gym right below my apartment this past fall. I open the gym at 5:45 am for a few days every week, and I receive a free membership and an hourly wage because of this. I love it. I love the peaceful mornings and the ability to build community while staying in shape.
In addition to machines and weights, my gym offers fitness classes such as yoga, spin, and pilates. I plan on taking advantage of these (specifically yoga!) over the course of this year. My dad has been inspiring me recently because he started attending yoga classes daily, in addition to going on long walks, over the past few months. I see a noticeable change in his energy and mood, and I am so happy for him. I want to be just as active as I am now when I am his age, and older, and being consistent now is essential to this goal.
When I was in elementary and middle school, I would stay awake until the early hours of the morning reading novels. While I read a book here and there throughout high school and early college, I did not start reading avidly again until the summer before my senior year of undergrad. I did not want my eyes to roast under the blue light of my phone before sleeping, so I decided to read at least a few pages of a book instead. Books make me so happy. Reading is my meditation and I love updating my progress in Good Reads. I cannot wait to immerse myself in different worlds over the course of this year.
My goal is to finish my Master’s in Public Health degree by December, and I would like to take advantage of the opportunities that BU, and Boston in general, has for me. I have now adjusted to my life here and I believe that I am able to dive a little deeper into my degree. As excited as I am to finish it, I do not want to simply coast through it. I know that I have a lot to give and this should not be hindered by the fact that I am in school.
With the content that I am consuming in my classes to real world events, I find ease in becoming desensitized to important issues. On one hand, I, like many others, am just trying to survive. On the other, I do not want to settle for the one life that I have to live. I have had so much trouble processing most things over the past couple of years, but I want to push myself to feel deeply again. I do not want to stop myself from pouring too quickly when journaling or during conversations with those close to me.
This last part may be due to dissociation or being in the post-grad, professional world, but I will admit that I have been experiencing a sense of loneliness recently. Pressure exists in maintaining the relationships that I have in Minnesota while trying to be present in Boston. Through reflection with my other friends here who are from Minnesota / the Midwest, we realized that we do not feel as though we can really depend on anyone whom we have met in Boston right now, and the over all energy that we receive here exudes individualism and selfishness. I really value community, and I know that I want community building to be an aspect of whatever profession I hold and however my life looks. I want depth in every relationship and I want to feel as though I can call someone when I am struggling who will be there to support me just as I would be for them. I know that circles become smaller as we grow older, but I do not even know where mine begins or ends. I hope to find more clarity in this area over the coming months, but I am certainly appreciative of those who consistently embrace me as I turn every corner.